heart breaking.

its been really long i have not experienced this kind of pain.
whyy is my blog always record my sad memories? :(

i really do NOT feel well. just let me express without organizing.
i am pain, in a real heart pain. with my tears that dont remember how to flow out..


i used to hold back my tears, and this time will not be an exception.
big girls dont girl. i am BIG GIRL! :') yes, i am..

ausmat. :')

Ausmat, a Pre-U course which is seriously NOT easy. 

we always get to choose, so now, 2choices : Score it or Screw it!

this week just finish my 4tests but next week, more to come. i know.

keep telling myself, face it with a positive thinking.

everyday finish classes, i feel soooo DRY! :O

need to rest so badly, need hugs.

today, there was a assembly in college.

the assembly about what's the score to enter university, and timetable for our Evaluate Exam.

seriously, it tough for me.

over my limit, more than i can do.

hold on? keep going? HUH! i dont know.

i dont see myself scoring good in Ausmat, i dont see myself getting in a good university anymore.

but now, i MADE the choice to SCORE IT!

i know i have to,because first of all, my parents spend lots of money on me, and they have high expectation on me.

secondly, it is my own future, this is my life. i will score good. hmm.

may tear, may be weak, but stand right up after the rest.

if you never do or pay any price, dont expect your return or rewards will be like others.

love me.

independent. ♥

life has been so different in these four months time. it is not a long period nor short.

growing, keep growing.
changing, keep changing.
mistake and keep correcting.

sometimes it may be tired and exhausted. but there is the training of life.
after all the trainings, you will gain your muscle for something bigger.

the puzzles in life, form a big pic in the end.

Hiding.

since young, even now, I am a girl who hide from problems and run from responsibility.
today, in the early morning, received a message from a friend who always put the afford to take care of me, and wanting me to have a better future.


thankyou so much for the message.

my dreams, i should take up action and make it come true.
my goals, i should run and stop looking back.
my future, i should fight and not being lazy standing there waiting for lucks drop  from the sky.

P/S : thankyou Jesus. from my whole heart, I am grateful for everything. without You, life is without air. Without You, there will not have me.